If you’re getting married, then I know very well that you might be facing some common wedding etiquette questions. Who gets a plus one? How do you handle adults-only celebrations? Or who pays for what?
When it comes to planning your wedding you’ve naturally envisioned a certain day, and would like everything leading up to go smoothly. Planning a wedding is fun and exciting, but at times it can also be complicated. You want to cherish the days leading up to this special moment, but delicate issues are bound to come up. Your faced with questions and tricky situations and it can be hard to figure out what the right solution is while avoiding hurt feelings.
So to ensure that your wedding day planning goes as stress-free as it possibly can, I’ve rounded up the most common etiquette questions couples have, and the best way to approach them….
Can I Have Someone Besides My Father Walk Me Down The Aisle?
Traditionally, fathers walk their daughters down the aisle but, these days that doesn’t have to be the case. Your father may not be with you any longer, or you are equally as close with your mother or even a grandfather or uncles. When it comes down to it, walking down the aisle to marry your love if a big moment, and you want to make sure you have someone walking alongside you that you cherish, and that person can be anyone significant to you.
Alternatively, some couples are choosing to walk together down the aisle or go solo. A lot are also are finding creative ways to avoid an aisle altogether, like having a ceremony circle or all of the guests walk into the ceremony with the couple already waiting for them at the end.
Who Lifts My Veil?
Current veil trend styles vary from short and modern, to classic long cathedral or vintage 1920’s caps, which makes the “lifting of the veil” a ceremony element not often seen. If you’ve gone the traditional route, the person who walked you down the aisle would be the one to lift your veil, revealing you to your love or they can lift it when you go in for the sweet kiss after being pronounced married.
via Style Me Pretty | Wedding Forward
How Do We Kiss During The Ceremony?
We can’t tell you how to kiss your new spouse, this is an emotional and special moment you want it to be totally natural, but you also don’t want to alarm any guests like your grandmother. The rule of thumb is to mix moderation with authentic love for an endearing kiss, that is also not longer than 10 seconds. Another tip, let’s keep it PG for this one. Remember to just be natural, you wouldn’t want your first kiss as a married couple to seem staged, all eyes are on you after all.
Who Hosts The Bridal Shower? Do My Shower Guests Need To Be On The Wedding Guest List?
This is one I get asked frequently, and it can be hosted by those willing to pitch in and host this honor for you. Most cases the mother, or with the mother of the groom, will cover the costs of the party, but your bridesmaids can often pitch in too, whether it be to offer the candy buffet or certain decor pieces. As far as invitation etiquette, it is custom that all bridal shower guests will also be invited to the wedding. The only instance where this would be acceptable would be the case of getting married in a intimate or destination wedding, where only a small group of people would be attending, but this would kindly need to be disclosed to bridal shower guests as to not hurt anyone’s feelings.
Who Am I Supposed To Invite To The Rehearsal Dinner?
Like everything else when planning a wedding, choosing who to invite to your rehearsal dinner is a matter of preference. Essentially it comes down to budget and just how far you can allocate for this pre-wedding event. If you can’t imagine closing off your rehearsal dinner festivities from all of your wedding guests, then consider being creative with a fun post get-together at a bar, this way everyone can take part in the celebration without having to spending an extravagance on rehearsal dinner. This works especially well if you’re having a destination wedding, and everyone will already be together. Just please make sure you’re not having a bar outing the day before your wedding!
Who Gets A Plus One?
Start by thoroughly going over your initial guest list. If majority are married couples, then it’s fair to allow your single guests a plus-one so they have the comfort of having a date. On the other hand, if your guest list has plenty of with singles, there may be no need for plus ones, unless your venue capacity and budget allows. Plus, it gives them all an opportunity to mingle, and who knows what love stories may come of this?!
How Do I Handles Guests Who Request A Plus One or RSVP An Extra Person?
This can easily become a difficult situation to handle, and should be done so delicately. A guest may feel like they should bring a new partner or a child along to an adults-only celebration. While you’d love for everyone to come, it does create an awkward situation especially if you don’t know their intended plus one. It’s important to call your guests personal and have an honest conversation that because of venue capacities or budget constraints, adding an additional guest wouldn’t be possible. Most guests will understand that you have a strict guest list, or in most scenarios falling back on the “no ring, no bring” motto is a sure way to go about selecting your guest list.
Is There A Right Way To Remove A Member Of The Wedding Party?
I’d say this is one of the most dramatic and delicate issues to face when planning a wedding. Naturally you won’t to avoid removing someone you’ve carefully selected to join you on your wedding day, but sometimes friendships are put a risk and termination may be the solution before permanent damage is made. Chances are there is no going back when saying goodbye to a groomsman or bridesmaid. My advice is go the peaceful approach, so that you can maintain a relationship. Perhaps they can’t quite commit to this responsibilities for your wedding but you couldn’t not have them there celebrating alongside all your guests.
Do I Have To Invite All Of The Reception Guests To The Ceremony?
Simply the answer is no, you can actually choose to invite a small group of guests if you are looking for a more intimate ceremony. It’s your decision on who you’d like to witness this special union of yours and how important it is for you to keep it cozy and private. It’s alright to feel guilty but don’t, this is you wedding day after all. Guest invited to the reception will understand your position. In turn, because of budgets or venue limits, you might not be able to invite everyone you’d like to the reception. In this case, let these individuals know you’d love for them to be present at your wedding ceremony and still be a part of your special day.
What Is The Most Polite Way To Request Cash Gifts?
Is asking for cash gifts really faux-pas? Simply put, no not really it’s just a bit more complicated. In most cases where the engaged couple is unsure where did will be post-wedding, a cash gift request makes the most sense. The best way to do this is to setup a cash registry so that guest can choose to contribute to an investment you both have created, like a down payment on a house or honeymoon travel. I still recommend keeping a gift registry in place for those guests who would rather give a traditional gift. I’m all about non-traditional wedding registries, like Zola, it’s a great way to combine both investment cash gift requests and classic gifts.
What Is The Protocol Regarding Thank You Notes?
Traditionally I recommend sending out Thank You notes to guests who attended your wedding, or didn’t attend but gave a gift, as soon as possible. If you’re choosing to send photos cards, as soon as you receive print from the photographer, work on sending your pretty cards. This ensures your guests aren’t left wondering whether you received their card and gift, and also shows them just how much you appreciated their love. If possible send Thank You’s no more than two months after your wedding day.
Do We Have To Invite Children? How Do We Let Guests Know It Will Be An Adults-Only Wedding?
Children are wonderful and adorable, but there isn’t a set rule that they need to be part of your wedding guest list. You can kindly let guests know you’ll be having an adults-only affair by sending invitations with each guest’s specific name or giving them the courtesy of calling once navigation have been sent out. This gives you the opportunity to explain why you wish to do so, if need be it, and avoids any misunderstanding when they arrive with their children at your reception.
If you are making this rule, you’ll need to stick to it and not allow some to come, while excluding other children. The only exception are the little ones in your wedding party.
What Do I Need To Consider When Planning A Religious Ceremony Or Traditions?
Stick to what YOU want
Because religion is so personal, you could hear a LOT of differing opinions from family and friends. It’s easy to get weighed down by the pressure of pleasing all the people who mean so much to you. The first step to any interfaith wedding: decide what YOU want and stick to it. While planning your wedding, the only people you need to please are you and your fiancé.
Who Pays For The Bridesmaids’ Dresses, Hair, Make-Up, etc…?
This is different for each couple, and really depends on your budget. First thing, you need to have this talk with your bridesmaids after asking them to stand by your side on your wedding day. Letting them know their expectations, including financially, right away allows them to to make the decision to commit to the role and financial obligations, and plan according to their personal needs too.
It’s become popular for the wedding party to pay for their own attire and to have their hair and makeup done, along with gifts for the couple, pre-wedding parties {bridal showers and bachlor/ette parties}. It’s a nice gesture for the bride to gift her ladies with jewelry and accessories, they can wear on their wedding and years to come. If your bridal party is covering most of their “look” costs, it’d be nice to have some of their input on the dress they’d be wearing or why not take all the ladies out to get their nails done. These are also some additional great tips to keep you wedding party happy throughout this planning process.
Who Pays For What In A Wedding?
How Do I Ask Someone To Help Us Pay For The Wedding?
Talking about money and a budget is probably the toughest conversation you’ll have about planning a wedding. Although, there isn’t a set rule these days about who fronts the bill, it’s still hard asking loved ones to support this special day because sometimes your realistic budget simply won’t stretch. Perhaps you’ve found the perfect home and are balancing a home renovation while also planning your wedding. That not only takes up more of your time, and stress, it also takes a toll on your wallet. I’ve known many engaged couples face the struggles of renovating and paying for wedding, which is why most will select cash gifting, to cover costs of post-wedding life. But for pre-wedding life, when finances could use an extra help, there are a few things you can do.
If you’re one of those renovating a home while paying for a wedding, consider a personal loan. Earnest provides a better way to borrow for home renovations and weddings, which is actually one of the top reasons people take out personal loan. When is comes to a home, a personal loan would be used more for home renovations, since average wedding costs are $35,000. Personal loans through Earnest have lower interest rates credit cards, so it’s another great way to save money throughout this process.
The other option, is to lean on your parents to help support the wedding day you’ve envisioned. Even with the best parental relationship, it’s still not easy approach in your parents or other family members to help for your wedding. You can do it indirectly by showing them your budget and asking for their ideas on how you can save money, which opens the door to the possibility of them offering to help. The direct approach would allow you to just speak to them, you can be open about what you’re all willing to pitch in, rather than the whole affair suggest one or two bigger elements of the wedding, say the bridal gown and food. This gives them a chance to choose something within their budget, and let’s face it, every loving bit will help you out!
What wedding etiquette questions did I forget to address? Please share whatever wedding planning dilemma you may be facing, would love to hear and help you out!
top images via Karen Rainier Photography | Dreamery Events
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