Because of this catastrophic pandemic, Weddings were not only impacted on the career front for professionals, but more importantly affected all livelihoods; plans, dreams, goals and just about everything! It has become a time of stillness, one of worry and uncertainty — the grief of loved ones but of our lives, of all the things we love. In turn, this situation has allowed us to slow down and see things in a new light, gain a new perspective to this crazy thing we call life. Life, over the recent years has become something so many of us are guilty of rushing through whether its work, relationships, family, hobbies, and everything else.
And you know what I think, or at least very much hope, that the wedding and events industry changes along with these times and people’s perceptions. I hope it allows partners, to see their wedding not as “THE happiest” or “most important day of their life”, but as a small, yes very special, yet small part of many many “THE” happiest/most important days throughout their marriage and entire lives together!
For all the couples who had to postpone their wedding during this time, and for any others who are looking to scale back a bit for their celebration — because on a serious note this pandemic has affected us all financially and it’s not going to be easy to afford everything we want at the moment. My heart feels and breaks for you. I know that as vendors we too are feeling it, and speaking personally, we will work together with all you so that everyone is being compensated, and getting what they want and deserve, in the best way possible!!
I’ve actually had this post about “How to Have an Intimate and Meaningful Wedding” lingering in my drafts for several years now. How ironically fitting that the timing couldn’t be more perfect now…..
One of the biggest pieces of advice I tell my clients and couples, when it comes to their wedding is to….
Make sure you’re not focusing on the details that will be Instagram worthy or is something everyone else is doing.
Stick to your gut, incorporate elements and details that are personal and unique, but more importantly represent you as a couple, and individuals.
Don’t fall into the “should do’s” and “have to’s” that the wedding industry can all to sadly pressure you into.
If you’re looking to shift your wedding planning focus on elements that are meaningful, impactful and full of memories; memories that will bring upon pure joy and bliss, not ones of stress or wishing you hadn’t done — then I’ve got you covered!
Of course there is no wrong way to plan a wedding, but my hope in sharing this post is to not only give you ideas on creating an intimate wedding, but give you the freedom and reassurance to plan the wedding you truly want! Marriage is certainly a big deal and I wholeheartedly believe you deserve to celebrate the occasion on your own terms.
An intimate wedding, whether large or small, is full of meaningful moments and intentional choices, that at the surface don’t look like much effort but indeed require an extra level of intimacy, care and connection when planning!
As a wedding and event planner I’ve learned a thing or two over the years, and am sharing my cherished advice on how you can make your wedding more intimate and absolutely more intentional — creating a more memorable and curated experience for all…..
1. WRITE YOUR OWN VOWS
This is the easiest way to make your wedding more intimate and meaningful — regardless how many guests you have present! Writing your own vows is a wonderful way to make your ceremony personal, and especially unique to the both of you. It can bring upon a simple calm and intimacy into your wedding, without needing to restructure major elements of your special day.
Olive Paperie Co. | Marcelo Valente Photography via Dreamery Events
2. LIMIT YOUR GUEST LIST
Weddings can get out of hand REAL quick. What starts as a small wedding with family and your closest friends, can easily evolve into a large party with acquaintances you barely know, like parents’ friends or coworkers. To ensure your wedding day is the way you want it to be, it’s helpful to set a cap on the number of guests you’re wanting to invite — and then stand by it, no going back!! Capping a wedding at 50 guests, 80 or 120 guests, can easily help make sure that the people present to witness one of your most meaningful days, are the people that you truly want to be there. My thoughts are you should have a relationship with each of your guests, you should be able to have a real conversation that night over drinks, reminisce over memories and genuinely have fun breaking it down on the dance floor!
That is certainly the advantage of smaller weddings, it gives you the space to truly connect with each of your guests. Another reason why smaller weddings are wonderful, it allows your photographers to focus more on capturing your wedding day’s energy and that “in the moment” connection moments you’re all having — as opposed to trying to capture large groups, who may or may not only be acquaintances.
Ripped Hat Photography via Dreamery Events
3. ELOPE
I know, I know, elopement isn’t for everyone, but bare with me…..Some of the most meaningful weddings I’ve seen, have been just the couple in one of their favorite places or stunning destinations, and their photographers {few even invite a handful of loved ones to witness their vows}. And you know what, they are some of the most meaningful, intentional and impactful wedding photographs ever, at least in my opinion. There is never a lack of true and indescribable emotion in elopement photography. And it’s easy to see why more and more couples are deciding that they’d rather spend the majority of their wedding day with their future spouse, instead of worrying over planning a large gathering where their attention will surely be diverted. Naturally the easiest way to create a beautiful experience where you’re able to reflect and take time to spend with your partner — is to simply cut out the extra “stuff.”
Elopements allow you to spend the entire day with your partner, it gives you an unlimited timeline to do what you want — without the strict schedules of vendors and venues! So you’ve decided you’d like to elope, maybe somewhere other than your home state/country, guest what? Now you’ve combined both your honeymoon and wedding into one experience!
Anni Graham Photography via Green Wedding Shoes | Stephanie Zakas Photography via Green Wedding Shoes
4. BOOK A VENUE THAT HAS ON-SITE LODGING
One thing I’ve always believed about weddings on a personal level, is if you can make it a weekend or mini-getaway for your loved ones, do it! Whether you’re intending on a smaller or larger wedding, one of the best ways to ensure meaningful quality time with your family and friends — book a venue (or an Unconventional Venue) with on-site accommodations. Now, if you truly want to preserve that intimacy, I suggest booking a smaller or boutique hotel, private estate, or even villas/AirBnB rentals. Some of these smaller accommodations even have the capacity to hold a wedding on their grounds. Depending on your region and wedding budget, imagine having all your loved ones celebrating your wedding day and then casually enjoying the day before and after without rushing to leave, say on a private estate or rental villas. Often times these places already offer group booking discounts, which can sometimes even be cheaper for longer stays, rather than just a night or two.
Whether you decide on a small hotel or an estate/rental accommodations, a curated private space allows you to spend more time with your loved ones in the days leading up, and after your wedding. More time to nurture and enjoy those connections with the people that matter most!
The Venue Report | Mariel Hannah Photography via Once Wed
5. HAVE A PRIVATE VOW CEREMONY
So elopement isn’t for you, but you still want to incorporate a private element of your wedding day that is just between you and your partner? This is YOUR wedding after all, so have the best of both worlds; a small, intimate ceremony as well as a large party with all your friends and family! Opt for a private vow exchange between you and your partner that is separate from the wedding ceremony, as if your own mini elopement.
You can even decide to have a small and quick ceremony at the start of your reception, after taking the time to do it alone and in private together. Your private ceremony can be done whenever you want—the morning of your wedding, the day before, a week before — anytime works, remember it’s your wedding! Maybe hike to your favorite spot, revel in those irreplaceable quiet moments…..I promise it will be one of the most heartwarming beautiful moments of your life.
Sumarokova Bridal | Themezzinoi via Green Wedding Shoes
6. PLAN A DESTINATION WEDDING
One of the simplest ways to plan a wedding with fewer guests, and with the least amount of conflict, is to have a destination wedding. Long gone are the days where destination weddings were only synonymous with tropical locations, these days destination weddings could have you celebrating in the picturesque wine country of Portugal, camping in the Midwest or even cozying up along snowy views from the Canadian Rockies to Iceland! There’s a reason why destination weddings are more popular than ever, they not only allow you and your guests to visit a new place {or even a favorite}, but they ensure you can create a very special and unique experience for all those nearest and dearest. You can incorporate local travel excursions and experiences that go beyond just your wedding day, making even more memories to cherish for years to come!
Whether you’re sticking to your own continent or choosing to go international for your wedding, a smaller “traveled” affair allows for more of that connection with your partner and loved ones. Just remember to let your loved ones know as early as possible that you’re considering a destination wedding, so that they can make sure to make the necessary arrangements on their part with work, finances, etc…..who knows, they might turn your wedding into their own personal vacation, truly making the most of the experience!!
The Knot | Elsa Eileen Photography
7. GET READY TOGETHER + MAKE IT AN INTENTIONAL PLACE
This one may a bit taboo and superstitious for many!! BUT one of the most meaningful things I’ve seen couples focus on is their unique story and history together. Instead of doing the current popular first look or spending half the day apart, which is the norm for almost any wedding, they choose to spend their entire wedding day with each other!! I mean, this day is all about the two of you anyway, right?? From morning snuggles over breakfast and all the moments in between leading up to their ceremony — choose to spend the day together. So throw tradition out the door and do whatever feels best for you! In truth, there’s also a bit of an advantage of getting ready together especially when it comes to your photography, logistically it’s much simpler than obviously trying to gather everyone and making sure both sides stick to their schedules. That simple change can breathe life into your wedding day, allowing you to spend extra time in the arms of the one you love.
If you choose to get ready together OR NOT…..CHOOSE AN INTENTIONAL PLACE TO GET READY! Instead of spending the night in a regular ole, oftentimes, dark hotel room — think outside the box! Maybe consider a cool boutique hotel in the area, a loved one’s apartment or home whose design aesthetic you love or even a cool AirBnB Treehouse rental! Getting ready in a beautiful place the makes you feel something special, will help you stay calm, refreshed and build up the excitement without any drag or worry. Since getting ready is an essential part of the day, doing so somewhere that is intentional, lends to more authentic and loving photographs.
Ripped Hat Photography via Dreamery Events | Fox and Film Photography via Junebug Weddings
8. PLAN AN OUTDOOR RECEPTION
I’ll be the first one to cheer for all-outdoor weddings, from ceremony to reception — but of course this all depends where and when you’re planning your wedding. If you’re opting to have your wedding during warmer months, and nature is very special to the both of you, then absolutely have a seated dinner outdoors! Naturally outdoor affairs will have even more candles, lanterns and twinkling lights that an indoor celebration, especially as the sun sets! Without much effort this will set the tone for a truly warm, romantic and meaningful atmosphere. By simply changing the location of your reception outdoors, you give your guests a more relaxed, but still beautifully curated experience together in one of the most lovely places of all; Nature!
Just close your eyes and imagine twinkling lights and stars above long farm wood tables, surrounded by glistening candlelight….dreamy isn’t it! Even if you have 50 or 200 guests, an outdoor wedding reception will automatically make you feel a closeness and connection with each loved one present.
India Earl via Green Wedding Shoes | Victoria Carlson Photography via Junebug Weddings
9. PLAN AN EXTRA PORTRAIT SESSION
Now this tip is one I’ve heard from several photographers, because let’s just be honest, speaking personally, having your photos taken doesn’t come naturally {even if you’re comfortable on the other end of the camera}. I totally get it! Setting up a portrait session, along with your engagement session, is a great way to strengthen that trust and connection with your photographer. If your wedding is already on the smaller and more intimate side, your photographer may be one of the handful of people present. So it’s best to feel like a trusting friend is there capturing those natural beautiful moments, rather than a stranger simply taking photographs. Even if you’re choosing a destination wedding or eloping, make sure you communicate with your photographer beforehand, maybe through video calls just to deepen that connection and relationship.
via Stephanie Crusso
1o. EMBRACE ALL THE EMOTIONS
This might be the most important piece of advice I can share on having an intimate and intentionally meaningful wedding…..
Weddings bring together so many emotions, connections and experiences — it’s what makes them such beautiful unique moments ….. Love. Joy. Sadness. Fear. Anticipation. Excitement ….. These emotions are essential to any wedding, and it’s important that we embrace and celebrate them! My goal as a planner and stylist is to always gear my couples in their planning journey towards staying true to themselves. Your wedding should feel authentic and a reflection of your love. The tears, the hugs, the laughs — I want to see it all! This is a celebration of you, all of you — your family, your friends, all those who hold a special place in your heart!
It’s important to remember that the intention of having a wedding celebrating for the start of your Marriage, is that you and your partner share your commitments and promises to each other — all those added details are literally “icing on the cake”. Your wedding, you get to do whatever you want! Want to run off and elope, go for it! If you want to plan a party for 500 people like no one has ever seen, have at it.
via The Hearnes
What have we learned?? Weddings aren’t meant to fit into any box, there’s no need to force something that doesn’t quite feel right or natural to you. Your wedding day is your wedding day, it should not take away from you as a couple or individuals. It should be the start of many “THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE,” not merely “THE” one at the top of the list. Life is too long, yet too short, but it is certainly full! So if you want to have an intimate, intentional wedding — the options are truly limitless!
Remember…..this is your permission to have your wedding your way!!
top images Vanessa Ivo Films | The Hearnes
Leave a Reply